I know my anxiety may annoy you but imagine being the one with it

i hate getting flashbacks from things i do not want to remember

im sorry i was not good enough but i tried to be

im sorry i have trust issues but when you give someone everything and they toss it away like nothing something inside of you breaks

isnt it sad when you get hurt so much you can finally say im used to it


Acceptance is the hardest part of recovery process of trauma.abuse is never the victims fault.your not alone either ,there are many people including myself who have gone through trauma from childhood abuse.remember it takes time and every one recovers at different stages but there are people out there who care.many people build up emotional barriers and gain trust issue s and it is common that they will blame themselves for what happened. it’s no your fault it’s the abusers fault.I fought years of being too scared to tell anyone but when I finally told someone even though it was difficult and scary it was a lot of weight of my shoulders and chest and I finally started to get the support.please though if you or anyone you know is being abused please tell someone like the police ,you deserve to be supported.😭thank you😭😭💔


Don’t judge me if you don’t understand,
Don’t play with my feelings,
You know I’m easily emotional and weak,
Don’t come and go-
my mental health isn’t a reason to leave

I thought you would stay,
you promised you’d never
Leave my side,
But now you’ve gone away,
And I’m left in the darkness
Of my thoughts,
To cry alone,

I thought you understood
clearly you are deceiving,
You make me feel so special
Then make me vulnerable as
You shout in my face ,

I wiped your tears when
You cried,
I gave you my love
When you were alone
I did everything
But you still left…

I came running
At your smallest calls
But if I need you
You don’t come at all
I forfeit sleep
To make sure you’re okay
But you won’t make
Time for me any day
We talk when you want
Then I’m ignored
I’m left wondering
If you just got bored
You push me away
Knowing I’ll reappear
But one of these days
I just won’t be here

letter to nana

nana,i know you wont get this but i want you to know that i love you,and i miss you so much.ive always been a nannys girl so the fact i cant contact you breaks my heart.i miss the times you’d sit by my bed,holding me close until i fell asleep,i miss our midnight feasts we had together,i miss the shopping trips we had,i just miss everything about you,from your warm heart,comforting hugs to your beautiful smile,nana i miss you.

enjoy life whilst u can

live life like there’s no tommorrow

sing as if no one can hear

dance as if no one is watching

laugh like no one is listening

smile like you’ve

never cried

fight like

you’ve lost

love like you’ve

never been


and live like

there’s no


in loving memory i miss you always brother

my heart has been left broken

since the day you had to go

and the memories i treasure dearly

are in the tears that still flow

you’re in my thoughts everyday

and thats how it will always be

for you may be up in heaven

but you’ll always be with me

if only i could have the chance

to see your face once more

or to hear your voice one final time

just like it was before

the day that heaven calls me

will be a relief from all the pain

i’ll run to you with open arms

and we’ll meet again

i miss u brother

i think about you always

i think about you still

you have never been


and you never will

i hold you close

within my heart

and there you you will


to walk with me throughout

my life

until we meet again

i’m depressed right now

Sometimes i just wish i didn’t have to be strong …and say i’m fine…sometimes i just wish someone would look me in the eyes and tell me that it’s OK not to be strong all the time.

When i’m fighting to hold back tears but i just wanna cry,but sometimes you just have to hold back tears,pretend to be OK and just keep getting up everyday like nothings wrong even though deep down your just longing to tell someone about your feelings.I wish i was a little girl again so when i am upset i could get away with crying in my mums arms and not be told i’m a baby.

You only know half my story….

I may smile but you never notice the pain in my eyes….

I may talk to be polite but you don’t hear me mentally whispering for help…

I may look ok because i get up everyday but deep down i just don’t wanna be here…

You may sometimes see my tears but u never know why…

You don’t understand unless u know my past…

As tears stroll down my face i just wanna die…

emotionally numb

when ur hurting so much u can no longer feel anything.

i am ready to leave this place

forget about everyone i know

pack up and dissappear

i am tired of the memories

that linger around every corner

or the meaningless routine

that is draining my soul away

i am ready to go

no goodbyes or explanations

i am ready

to start over.

dying inside

sometimes im in so much pain,i forget how to breathe.i cant even cry.all i can do is feel the knife of the flashbacks being pushed into my chest over and over again.


The symptoms of depression include the majority of the following signs, experienced nearly every day over the course of two or more weeks:

a persistent feeling of loneliness or sadness

lack of energy

feelings of hopelessness

difficulties with sleeping (too much or too little)

difficulties with eating (too much or too little)

difficulties with concentration or attention

total loss of interest in enjoyable activities or socializing

feelings of guilt and worthlessness

and/or thoughts of death or suicide.

 I have these symptons so do I have depression????


I can’t believe i let my self believe in these unfaithful dreams

this will be the last you hear from me,
there is only illusion
to forever drift
gone with the wind
troubled, silent


i’m trapped inside a tower

ive been locked and lost the key

now the darkness that creeps in at night

is my only company

no one tries to save me here

since they cant hear my cries

i pass my days in solitude

watch the world move on outside

this tower isnt very grand

its really not that tall

but still i cant escape it

i cant break free at all

you cant see this tower

just believe its there instead

because my tower isnt made of stone

its all inside my head


i come running

at your smallest call

but if i need you

you didn’t come at all

i forfeit sleep to

make sure you’re okay

but you won’t make time

for me any day

we talk when you want

then i’m ignored

i’m left wondering

if you just got bored

you push me away

knowing i’ll reappear

but one of these days

i won’t be here…

Music can heal…

I listen to a song called Two of Us by Louis Tomlinson when i miss my sister.

[Verse 1]
It’s been a minute since I called you
Just to hear the answerphone
Yeah, I know that you won’t get this
But I’ll leave a message so I’m not alone
This morning I woke up still dreaming
With memories playing through my head
You’ll never know how much I miss you
The day that they took you, I wish it was me instead

But you once told me, “Don’t give up
You can do it day by day”

And diamonds, they don’t turn to dust or fade away

So I will keep you, day and night, here until the day I die
I’ll be living one life for the two of us
I will be the best of me, always keep you next to me
I’ll be living one life for the two of us
Even when I’m on my own, I know I won’t be alone
Tattooed on my heart are the words of your favourite song
I know you’ll be looking down, swear I’m gonna make you proud
I’ll be living one life for the two of us

[Verse 2]
I could feel your blood run through me
You’re written in my DNA
Looking back in every mirror
I know you’ll be waiting, I’ll see you again

But you once told me, “Don’t give up
You can do it day by day”

And diamonds, they don’t turn to dust or fade away (Fade away)

So I will keep you, day and night, here until the day I die
I’ll be living one life for the two of us
I will be the best of me, always keep you next to me
I’ll be living one life for the two of us
Even when I’m on my own, I know I won’t be alone
Tattooed on my heart are the words of your favourite song
I know you’ll be looking down, swear I’m gonna make you proud
I’ll be living one life for the two of us

I promised you I’d do this
So all of this is all for you

Oh, I swear to God you’re living
Through everything I’ll ever do

So I will keep you, day and night, here until the day I die
I’ll be living one life for the two of us
I will be the best of me, always keep you next to me
I’ll be living one life for the two of us
Even when I’m on my own, I know I won’t be alone
Tattooed on my heart are the words of your favourite song
I know you’ll be looking down, swear I’m gonna make you proud
I’ll be living one life for the two of us

One life for the two of us
I’ll be living one life for the two of us

We’ll end just like we started
Just you and me and no one else
I will hold you where my heart is
One life for the two of us

letter to you

“this letter is to you.the you that’s had a rough week.the you that seems to be under constant storm clouds.the you that feels invisible.the you that doesn’t know how much longer you can hold on.the you that has lost faith.the you that blames yourself for everything that goes you.

you are make this world a little bit more have so much potential and so many things left to have time.better things are coming your way so please hang in can do it”

dark depression

lost in dark depression

not knowing where to turn

i opened the windows to my soul

to see what i could learn

i swept up all depression

scrubbed the sadness and the hurt

i put it all in trash bags

and set them by the curb

i found stashed in a corner

a treasure chest of knowledge

that i could love myself

and wherever my future takes me

i know that i will win

because i opened the windows to my soul

and let the light shine in

shattered dreams

i walk on

microscopic pieces

of shattered dreams

i breath in doubt and feel it

consume me

pain burns a hole

straight through my cherst

and i can’t help but think

it would be for the best

all the while i’m listening

i hear the screams

“you’re not good enough”

they define me

My blizzards and storms

i do not mean to scare you

but there’s winter in my bones

and when life becomes to heavy

you can hear my glaciers groan

sometimes i don’t go out

because my heart has been snowed in

and it doesn’t take too much

for avalanches to begin

but do not get me wrong

there’s beauty in the endless white

the ice along my lashes

helps reflect back all the light

and it’s easy to find magic

skating on the frozen lakes

or in sticking out your tongue

to catch the softly falling flakes

the forest floor is freezing

but the trees are wearing coats

and ive seen the whistling winds

wearing a scarf around its throat

so do not waste your worry

on all my blizzards and my storms

i’ve got my internal flame

that always keeps me nice and warm

Depression kills u

“Dear me,

I am sorry,

I am sorry that you tried so desperately to fix others when your own hands were shaking.I’m sorry that i didn’t give you enough time to heal,that i let you seal the wounds of everyone else whilst your own were still bleeding.I’m sorry that there were days when smiling hurt but you forced yourself to laugh so that no one had to worry about you.I’m sorry that you gave all your time and effort to people who didn’t give the same back.I’m sorry that there were nights when you cried yourself to sleep and no one bothered to understand why.And i’m so sorry that i did not love you,like you deserved to be loved.”

Letter to myself.

Start of something new….!

And then it happens….

One day you wake up and you’re

In this place.You’re in this place

Where everything feels right.

You’re heart is calm.You’re soul is

Lit.Your thoughts are positive.

Your visions are clear.You’re at

Peace,at peace with what

You’ve been,at peace with what

You’ve been through and at peace

With where you’re headed.

Need support with dyslexia….?

Well here’s a blog on tips,and symptons of dyslexia and ways to cope…

What is Dyslexia? Signs Of Dyslexia, Cope with Dyslexia.

Image result for dyslexia

if only u stayed…..!

Everyone thinks i’m strong,

But tears were falling from my eyes

on the day u left me and said goodbye

now i know my feelings

i should no longer hide

i love you and i want you to

stay by my side

you know without you i’m weak

because you’re the only strenght that i seek

that i seek

so please…don’t go,i’m being so bold

just by saying i need your hand to hold

don’t leave me like this

so broken,so torn,so cold.

so as i write this

you’re somewhere so far away

a place i can only reach

by loving you this way.

Hard times…!

I wish i could cry,i wish i could scream,

And vent and thrash,instead i sit quietly,

While you tell me,I’m selfish and wrong,

I wish you could see,

All the horrid thoughts i have.

I wish you could hear,

All the horrible things i say in my head.

I wish you could hear the lectures

I drill in my own mind.

If you could,you would know,

You don’t need to lecture me

I do enough of that for ten proffessors

And twelve priests.

If you could see and hear,

Maybe you could understand

Why i always look angry or sad.

Its because even on my good days.

I am sad.angry.confused.guilty.

How did this happen to me?

Why do i feel this way?

I wish you could hear.see.feel.

Then,you might actually understand.

Some.a little.someday.


I’m broken

And unspoken.

Want to cry,

Sometimes die.

But then i think

Strong you have to be,

Put a happy face on.

And must go on

Don’t let nobody know.

That your slowly gone.

Is going to be hard

Trust nobody with your heart,

With your feelings,you trust

They will let you down

Just because.


I am strong .

I’ve been through a lot and i’m still standing.

I have self worth.

It took a lot of soul searching to finally see for myself.

I am beautiful.

I don’t need anyone to tell me,i already know my glow.

I am not perfect.

Nobody’s perfect but I’ve seen my good and bad sides.

I am just myself.

I will never be alone,i will always be there for me.

Definition of self-confidence: a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgement.

In a nutshell, self-esteem is your opinion of yourself and your abilities. It can be high, low or somewhere in-between. While everyone occasionally has doubts about themselves, low self-esteem can leave you feeling insecure and unmotivated. You might be able to identify a few things that are affecting your opinion of yourself (maybe you’re being bullied, or you might be feeling lonely), or it could be a mystery. Either way, there are heaps of things you can do to improve your self-esteem.

Ways to improve your self-esteem and build up your confidence…!

1. Be nice to yourself

That little voice that tells you you’re killin’ it (or not) is way more powerful than you might think. Make an effort to be kind to yourself and, if you do slip up, try to challenge any negative thoughts. A good rule of thumb is to speak to yourself in the same way that you’d speak to your mates. This can be really hard at first, but practise makes perfect. 

2. You do you

Comparing yourself to other people is a sure-fire way to start feeling crummy. Try to focus on your own goals and achievements, rather than measuring them against someone else’s. Nobody needs that kind of pressure!

3. Get movin’

Exercise is a great way to increase motivation, practise setting goals and build confidence. Breaking a sweat also cues the body to release endorphins, the feel-good hormones.

4. Nobody’s perfect

Always strive to be the best version of yourself, but it’s also important to accept that perfection is an unrealistic goal.

5. Remember that everyone makes mistakes

You’ve got to make mistakes in order to learn and grow, so try not to beat yourself up if you forget to hit CTRL+S on a super-important assignment. Everyone’s been there.

6. Focus on what you can change

It’s easy to get hung up on all the things that are out of your control, but it won’t achieve much. Instead, try to focus your energy on identifying the things that are within your control and seeing what you can do about them.

7. Do what makes you happy

If you spend time doing the things you enjoy, you’re more likely to think positively. Try to schedule in a little you-time every day. Whether that’s time spent reading, cooking or just conking out on the couch for a bit, if it makes you happy, make time for it.

8. Celebrate the small stuff

You got up on time this morning. Tick. You poached your eggs to perfection. Winning. Celebrating the small victories is a great way to build confidence and start feeling better about yourself.

9. Be a pal

Being helpful and considerate to other people will certainly boost their mood, but it’ll also make you feel pretty good about yourself

10. Surround yourself with a supportive squad

Find people who make you feel good about yourself and avoid those who tend to trigger your negative thinking.

Need more support in boosting your self esteem,buy this self esteem workbook at:

Act 3,Scene 2,line 8 to the end of the scene & act 3,scene 4,line 83 to the end of scene.How does Shakespeare use language to convey Macbeth’s emotions and behaviour in these two scenes.

Shakespeare uses language in several ways to show us Macbeth’s emotions and behaviour. In the first scene Macbeth is concerned that although he has killed Duncan,there are those that suspect him and may cause him harm in the future.He uses the metaphor of a ‘scorched’snake that has only been wounded and will fight again another day as a metaphor for his situation.This reference to poisonous or dangerous creatures is repeated later in the scene when Macbeth says ‘o’full of scorpions in my mind,dear wife!’which sounds like the anguished cry of someone who cannot find peace.You can imagine him clutching his head on stage.

Another way Macbeth’s feelings are described is when he talks about sleep.Sleep is mentioned lots of times in the play so it is obviously on Macbeth’s mind,which is not surprising considering he has committed murder.’eat our meal in fear and sleep’which references how much he’s worrying.In this scene he talks about how it is ‘better’ to be with the dead who have been sent ‘to peace’.He mentions that Duncan now ‘sleeps well’ almost as if he envies the people he has murdered.

In the same scene,there are some particularly strong descriptions of night time made by Macbeth.He mentions things to do with the night-the ‘bat’,the ‘shard-borne beetle’ and later the ‘crow’ and the ‘th’rooky wood’.These are all ‘black agents’ of the night and through Macbeth’s mention of them he is kind of associating himself with them.Therefore,although he can’t sleep-he wants night to come because it is when he can commit murder.The scene ends with him hiding information from his wife-he reveals no more that that he is going to do a ‘dead of dreadful note’.This is powerful because we know what Macbeth has planned ,but Lady Macbeth doesn’t ,through the use of dramatic irony.

The second scene is very different because Banquo has been murdered and you think that maybe Macbeth will now be a little more relaxed and feel safe.But when he sees the ghost of Banquo even though he tries to cover up his feelings he cannot.’avaunt and quit my sight!let the earth hide thee!thy bones are marrowless,thy blood is cold’.These descriptions of the @living-but dead’ Banquo really shows how Macbeth is shaking.He cannot believe how real it is.’can such thing be/and overcome us like a summer’s cloud?’

This simile links to other descriptions of day and night,light and darkness that have surfaced in the play.Macbeth then goes on to talk about the supernatural and seems almost to be talking in a witch-like spell-‘blood will have blood.stones have been known to move and trees to speak.’

From this,and all his reference to night and creatures of the night,it seems as if Macbeth is feeling and behaving like a devilish creature himself so that at the end of the scene it is not surprising when he uses the metaphor of being ‘stepped in so far’in blood,like a river crossing,so that he can’t go back.

He ends his last verse speech with a couplet as if he has made up his mind and can’t now change things’strange things i have in head that will to hand/which must be acted ere they may be scanned’.

Eating disorders!

Eating disorders

An eating disorder is when you have an unhealthy attitude to food, which can take over your life and make you ill.

It can involve eating too much or too little, or becoming obsessed with your weight and body shape.

But there are treatments that can help, and you can recover from an eating disorder.

Men and women of any age can get an eating disorder, but they most commonly affect young women aged 13 to 17 years old.


Emotional and behavioral

  • In general, behaviors and attitudes that indicate that weight loss, dieting, and control of food are becoming primary concerns
  • Preoccupation with weight, food, calories, carbohydrates, fat grams, and dieting
  • Refusal to eat certain foods, progressing to restrictions against whole categories of food (e.g., no carbohydrates, etc.)
  • Appears uncomfortable eating around others
  • Food rituals (e.g. eats only a particular food or food group [e.g. condiments], excessive chewing, doesn’t allow foods to touch)
  • Skipping meals or taking small portions of food at regular meals
  • Any new practices with food or fad diets, including cutting out entire food groups (no sugar, no carbs, no dairy, vegetarianism/veganism)
  • Withdrawal from usual friends and activities
  • Frequent dieting
  • Extreme concern with body size and shape 
  • Frequent checking in the mirror for perceived flaws in appearance
  • Extreme mood swings


  • Noticeable fluctuations in weight, both up and down
  • Stomach cramps, other non-specific gastrointestinal complaints (constipation, acid reflux, etc.)
  • Menstrual irregularities — missing periods or only having a period while on hormonal contraceptives (this is not considered a “true” period)
  • Difficulties concentrating
  • Abnormal laboratory findings (anemia, low thyroid and hormone levels, low potassium, low white and red blood cell counts)
  • Dizziness, especially upon standing
  • Fainting/syncope
  • Feeling cold all the time
  • Sleep problems
  • Cuts and calluses across the top of finger joints (a result of inducing vomiting)
  • Dental problems, such as enamel erosion, cavities, and tooth sensitivity
  • Dry skin and hair, and brittle nails
  • Swelling around area of salivary glands
  • Fine hair on body (lanugo)
  • Cavities, or discoloration of teeth, from vomiting
  • Muscle weakness
  • Yellow skin (in context of eating large amounts of carrots)
  • Cold, mottled hands and feet or swelling of feet
  • Poor wound healing
  • Impaired immune functioning


  • Dramatic weight loss
  • Dresses in layers to hide weight loss or stay warm
  • Preoccupation with weight, food, calories, fat grams, and dieting. Makes frequent comments about feeling “fat.’
  • Resists or is unable to maintain a body weight appropriate for their age, height, and build
  • Maintains an excessive, rigid exercise regime – despite weather, fatigue, illness, or injury


  • Evidence of binge eating, including disappearance of large amounts of food in short periods of time or lots of empty wrappers and containers indicating consumption of large amounts of food
  • Evidence of purging behaviors, including frequent trips to the bathroom after meals, signs and/or smells of vomiting, presence of wrappers or packages of laxatives or diuretics
  • Drinks excessive amounts of water or non-caloric beverages, and/or uses excessive amounts of mouthwash, mints, and gum
  • Has calluses on the back of the hands and knuckles from self- induced vomiting
  • Dental problems, such as enamel erosion, cavities, discoloration of teeth from vomiting, and tooth sensitivity 


  • Secret recurring episodes of binge eating (eating in a discrete period of time an amount of food that is much larger than most individuals would eat under similar circumstances); feels lack of control over ability to stop eating
  • Feelings of disgust, depression, or guilt after overeating, and/or feelings of low self-esteem
  • Steals or hoards food in strange places
  • Creates lifestyle schedules or rituals to make time for binge sessions
  • Evidence of binge eating, including the disappearance of large amounts of food in a short time period or a lot of empty wrappers and containers indicating consumption of large amounts of food
Image result for eating disorders

Do you struggle with eating disorders?Well here is a blog full of tips and advice for coping with eating disorders:

I hope this is useful.Thank you for reading!


Grief can make us seem very selfish

Focusing only on the people we lost

Ignoring our loved ones around us

Not aware of the hurt and loss.

We miss events,parties and get togethers

We stare blank at people when they speak

Life totally feels dark and bleak.

It isn’t that we don’t care

It isn’t that we don’t want to take part

We just need time to adjust and learn

How to live with a broken heart.

The other side of grief…!

There is another side of grief

Where the tears still flow

Not as much.

Where memories bring smiles,

Not just sadness.

Where blessings are recognised,

Not just struggles.

Where you are remembered,

Not just mourned.

I miss you Sienna.

The ache

There’s an ache that’s in my heart,

It echos thunder through my chest,

It makes it hard to breathe,

So i just hold my breath.

The pain is hard to bear,

It hurts all through my body,

The ache is everywhere.

There’s no prescription drug,

That can take away this pain,

No miracle cures or pills,

It’s a hurt that will remain.

My heart goes out to you,

I know the pain your feeling,

Everyday i feel it too.

Life is now a struggle,

Just to get up everyday,

The ache that’s in my heart,

Will never go away.

I want you home…!

Oh Sienna,i want you home

I need you here now

I can’t bear living without you

Send me a sigh some how

What ever am i going to do

I need to know you’re okay

Please,where are you?

I miss you every day

I want to hold you

I need you by my side

I can’t accept it,Sister

Can’t accept you have died

I need to hear your voice

Just one more time

Just one more cuddle

To heal this heart of mine

Please show me a sign

If you can for me

I am forever missing you

And will for eternity.

Gifts for Earth’s atmosphere.

By sea,by land,by air

they come bearing gifts

to Earth’s atmosphere.

Nitrogen and Oxygen

were most generous

with their own gases.

And Argon and Carbon dioxide

also took pride

in giving themselves.

And water brought vapour

and crystals of ice,

and the ocean thought

a bouquet of salt

would be nice,

And the flowers

not to be outdone,

presented their pollen

in wind wrapped particles.

And from every direction,

earth’s atmosphere

received a shower of gifts-

including a sad windfall

of ashes and soot,

and gases that pollute.


Call me x-ray.

X-ray will do.

i can see through you.

whether you skin

be black,white,

yellow or blue.

An inside view

is what i get.

That’s a fact mate.

I offer you

your skeleton

on a photographic plate.

One family

if i am made

of atoms and molecules,

and you are

made of atoms and molecules,

and all the

world is made

of atoms and molecules,

does this mean

the human race

belongs to one

family of atoms and molecules?

then why aren’t

we as together as

tadpoles in a pool?

they never teach

you this in

science at school.


when sunlight dances

on the tips

of leaves

and plants for joy

open their lips

to drink it in

and the breeze

makes a violin

of every tree

and even weeds

one by one

cry out for a kiss

of light and carbon dioxide

a sheer spree of green

is that all they mean?


How many seconds in a minute?

Sixty,and no more in it.

How many minutes in a hour?

Sixty,for sun and shower.

How many hours in a day?

Twenty-four,for work and play.

How many days in a week?

Seven,both to hear and speak.

How many weeks in a month?

Four,as the swift moon runn’th.

How many months in a year?

Twelve,the almanac makes it clear.

How many years in an age?

One hundred,says the sage.

How many ages in a time?

No none knows the rhyme.

demons in your head

I wish there was a way to kill yourself and see how everyon who you knew reacts and then depending on that choose whether to stay alive or not if that wer e the case is kill myself right this second the sad thing is nobody ever knows how much anyone else is hurting we could be standiǹ next to somebody who is completely broken and we wouldn’t even know it twinkle twinkle little star let me get hit by a car how I really wish to die jump of the roof and try to fly twinkle twinkle little knife help me and this wretched life the demons are back and stronger than ever they are looking for a flight looking to win and this time I might just let them


it is sad that some people aren’t waiting for their happy ending anymore they’re just waiting for the end and suddenly nothing even mattered anymore all I wanted was to sleep forever I don’t even know what’s wrong with me any more im used to it in used to people leaving I’m n used to bring all alone I’m used to having no one so just go leave I’m used to anyway I can’t swim any longer I can’t hold my breath I’ve been trying so hard but the waves are slowly pulling me under and I think i ‘ll let them I wanted to write down exactly how I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty and I could not have described it and I could not have described it any better honestly I hold in a lot when I’m upset I really don’t like to tell anyone especially the person wh o made me that way no matter how much anyone asks the answer will always be in fine even if it’s not true

A Suicide note:

If you haven’t noticed

the scars on my hips

or the fake smiles on my lips

Or the forced laughs that I’ve adopted

or the way I don’t care

about the things that I used to love

then don’t you dare stand

at my grave and cry

how can you cry for someone

that you don’t even know?

I don’t have a flat stomach

I don’t have gorgeous clothes

I don’t have long,lovely hair

I don’t have perfect nails,or perfect lips

I have scars on my body

I have cried myself to sleep more times

than I can count

I have a heart

and I’ve had it broken

I have had my trust thrown on my face

but I will love you endlessly

I will love you completely

just please don’t hurt me

I can’t take it

breaking apart

Behind my smile is

A breaking heart,

Behind my laugh

I’m falling apart,

Behind my eyes

Are tears at

Night,behind my

Body is a soul

Trying to fight.

Grief is like

Living two lives.

One is where you

Pretend that

Everything is

alright,and the

Other is where

Your heart

Silently screams

In pain.