Trauma of childhood!

A short story!

Do you remember your childhood?

Remember that kid running down the street… hot sidewalk, bare footed, sweat running down your face? Take a moment and try to remind your self… What is the memory that is stuck in my head? The one you can never forget? We have flashbacks, of the hardest moments we have been through, not everything is color white. we all have black spots.

Where do I start… My life is like a roller-coaster I can remember when I was four, my mother left me, to come to a better country, to give me and my brothers a better future. I was left in custody of my aunt along with my older brother. My two older sisters where left in custody of our grandparents. I can imagine you thinking how could someone leave there kid this young? Our parents have sacrifice so much to give us what we need, to have a better life than what they ever had. The day she left is all blanked out, I only remember the hardest part of my life.

It was almost bed time, I was in the floor playing with my dolls on my right hand side was my brother playing with his UNO cards. It hit 9:00 pm. Once again it all started, I heard my aunt and uncle fighting yelling out about his drinking problems, I remember my brother hugging me tight. I can hear them cussing one to another.. I was scared my uncle was wasted.. tripping, screaming “I’m tired of this, I’m tired of you!” I knew this was not going to end well.

I closed my eyes tight holding my brothers hand, and shut a tear, he whisperer to my ear… “everything is going to be alright.” It only took about two minutes to hear the phone being tossed to the other side of the room, I knew he would hit her, my heart started beating faster and faster as his voice started getting louder. I heard my aunt saying “This is when I hate you the most, this is when you turn into my worst enemy!” Does words scared me, I knew he was getting angry as she scream to him how much she hated him, as does words hit him on the softest spot he had, he became a different person when he was holding that bottle on his hand. He took a deep breath, and scream again “you are worthless, you don’t understand me! Look at you no one will ever want you, no one will ever love you..”

My brother and I are in a corner holding hands saying our prayers for the nightmare to end, next we heard him slap her across the face, we wanted this to an end. We stepped outside trying to stop this my brother ran towards him…. I yelled at him “Please don’t hurt us don’t hit us..” Tears running down my face, my brother hitting him, kicking, screaming, biting him. My aunt yelled again ” stop don’t hurt them! Don’t touch them.. you hate me!”

I saw him  slamming her against the wall as my brother rand to hide. He started hitting her until she bleed, until she was weak enough not to get up. There was tears running down her face, she wasn’t able to talk, I cover my eyes as he slammed her one last time. “I told you not to get in my business.. this is what you get, exactly what you deserve!” He yelled at her as he walked away. My brother in in the other side hiding his face, I rand towards him and said everything was to an end, we rand towards the phone, we called the cops. It was only a few minutes when they arrived, he was gone, no where to be found. As always in a small country they only took her to a clinic and they dismissed this case, there was not enough evidence…

I can only remember her recovering, it only took him a week to come back to apologize to try it one last time… She took him back she was scared and though without a man she was not able to make it, she needed his help to be the person she wanted to be. I didn’t understand as a child her taking him back, my brother and I were always scared of him as the night hit we pray this wont happen again.. No one wants their child seeing violence, growing up with people hating each other teaching you that two grown people are always fighting..

My mother never knew about the argument, we were allowed to say anything. Can you imagine leaving your kids behind in the hands of two people feeling hate towards each other.. We should always remember what made us who we are. We can never forget the things that happen to us to teach us what life is, not everything is as it seems not everyone is born in a crystal box, some of us need to build our own box and learn how to keep it going up..

Childhood

Take me back to my school days

When i would study,play and sleep

Bring me back that wonderful time

Take me back to that walk down memory lane trip

I want to again while away time

Sitting at the riverside and staring at the sky

I want to lie down again on the greens

Sleep under the rain with a beautiful dream

I vividly remember the time

When i used to splash water in the tub

It was the pool of my love

Where i would swim like a duck

The tiny huts of bamboo

Which i used to make

Were the castles of my imagination

Built with desire to give birth to my

Creation

Replay or rewind that time for me

At least i can revisit those wonderful memories

When i was care free and had no burden to carry

Depression

Longing for the happiness

That i once had

Wishing i had someone

Who understands

i hate feeling this way

All of the time

I hate feeling so alone

Finding it hard to cope

I hate this feeling

Of being so alone

Without someone around

Who understands me

Life is hurting me

Slowly,bit by bit

Wishing the pain

Would go away

Wishing i could escape

Wishing i could break free

From the pain inside me

How do i heal these wounds

Which have now turned to scars

I long to have a friend

But i’m scared

That they’ll push me away

Why do i have to live like this?